Anshei Darom News

If famous characters throughout time had Jewish mothers... just imagine:

MONA LISA'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered - you didn't call, you didn't write..."

MICHELANGELO'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"A ceiling, you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

THOMAS EDISON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"

PAUL REVERE'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"

MOSES'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?"

BILL GATES'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"

BILL CLINTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl."

Technically speaking, Albert Einstein and Moses did have Jewish mothers... so anything is possible!

[A tip o' th' yarmulke to Howard Silverstein, who found these gems on the Internet!]

Labels: Narrischkeit